Peach Season

It might be barely spring break, but as the weather slowly starts to warm up summer is inevitably on the mind. But for me, one thing I'm really excited is that the impending summer means peach season.
This year has been a lot of new experiences. But moving to a different part of the state that is not desert means that crops like peaches will be more accessible and abundant and therefore I am excited.

I remember a few times when I was little a member of my family would usually make some trip to the hill country and they would always make it a point to usually pass through Fredericksburg and bring back bushels of peaches. One year though, someone brought back 3 full milk carton boxes filled with peaches. The crispers of our refrigerator were full to the brim of that orange and sun kissed glow of the tons of peaches that were inside of them. I remember I finished both drawers of peaches in probably 2 days. Everytime I'd pass the fridge I'd pop open that door and sink my teeth into one of those juicy peaches. I couldn't stop. It was insatiable; and those were (and still are) the best peaches I have ever had. When my mom noticed she was definitely upset especially because it only left one bushel to use for frozen peaches and cobbler but I actually remember not even feeling that guilty. Those peaches were worth it. The only guilt I did have was that not many members of my family got to share in that sweet peach nectar wealth I had taken part in.

Lately God has been teaching me a lot about dependency even when I don't even realize he's doing it. But it never fails that as soon as I start to tip-toe away and start to reach for the other things to satisfy me God always finds a way to humble me and it forces me to crawl back to him and let him pick me up and I can once again find my solace and comfort in him.

In my quiet time with the Lord earlier today, I felt him describe my pursuit of satisfaction as trying to build a house of cards out in the open air. It won't take long for something small like a breeze to blow through it and knock it down. And the frustration will never end- no matter how many times I try to change my WAY of building a house of cards, if the foundation isn't right, and the setting isn't right-something as fragile as our flimsy cards won't stand and will eventually topple at the first thing opposing it.

See, I've made the mistake recently that somehow God's work is finished with me. And that my point of dependency and intimacy with him that I had reached had somehow bottomed out and that was as high and deep as it could go. So I started to put my love and comfort and security in other things. People mostly.

But that house of cards  I was building in trying to find satisfaction elsewhere didn't get very far before something as subtle as breeze toppled it. Nothing drastic, but it was just enough for me to feel that familiar pang of brokenness again.

Brokenness has become familiar to me. But not only am I learning to delight in that brokenness but also that God does not allow problems without provisions. There is no problem in our lives that we shouldn't delight in-because if all problems come with provisions-that means that God is making a way for us to become more like him. In essence, the more problems we have in our lives means the more ways that God is teaching us to be more like him. If we worry, perhaps he's teaching trust. If we are angry, perhaps he's teaching us patience. If we are disparaged, perhaps he's trying to teach us joy.

There has been one time that I have clearly heard the voice of the Lord. He said to me 'Shelby. I, I, love you. Aren't I enough?' *insert sound of heart physically cracking in half.*
I think often when life is hard we look for other outlets of comfort and love to satisfy us. But in my experience what's something that's not so recognized is even when we think life is peachy keen, we often leave God on the curb to just wait a second while we go and try to walk our own road. But finding our satisfaction in God is a daily activity. It doesn't come in seasons, there's always more God has to show us.

I want my love for God and walk with the Lord to be like the peaches that were in the refrigerator. Insatiable. Memorable. Always wanting more. I want my love for God to be something that I can't just pass  up but it has to be satisfied with that sweet bite into that juicy goodness peach flesh.

See, what I'm learning is that God is satisfying. He's more satisfying than those precious, succulent Fredericksburg peaches. He is enough. He has never disappointed me with His sweetness to comfort me, teach me, even to correct me. I don't want to just find His sweetness when I'm in a season of brokenness or correction. I want to daily find my satisfaction in Him.

He's sweeter and more satisfying than Fredericksburg peaches on a hot summer day, and there's more to him than all of the crisper drawers of refrigerators around the world, combined.

Thank you God for being so sweet to me. Even when you're teaching me, correcting me. Even when I try and build my own house of cards and attempt satisfaction elsewhere. You're the only place where I find true peace, rest, love, and security. 

Love, your peach nut, Shelby