I mean like really daydream. Sometimes, I feel like I have the most intricate and detailed daydreams. Like, they're not even worthy of being called 'daydreams' because that sounds too cloudy and delicate. I spend time, especially on the weekends, just...daydreaming.
So, its Awards Season. And, considering myself to be a hopeful future filmmaker, this is one of my favorite times of the year. I sit there as I am daydreaming imagining myself at something like these. Who would I thank? What would I Wear? I imagine the conversation I would have with the designer about custom making my dress because I'm usually too short to just alter the dresses. I think about what I would say to my colleagues of the industry. I think about the faces I would make if the camera ever pans on me, OR if I was nominated for something, what would I do as their announcing the nominees. Would I smile, or act nonchalant? I then think about what I would do if I won. Would I make a joke when I first got up there? (Probably.) Or would I be one of those over emotional long winded types? I don't know. I guess I'll just have to wait to see if I get there. But, the point I was trying to make is that I basically think about every detail. Like, not just the big stuff, but like the little stuff. Little conversations people don't think about when they think about Hollywood. Like, what are they saying to each other during the commercial breaks? What would I say to Meryl Streep? How do they arrive? By Limo? Does the associations give you a guest limit? How do they decide? Do they normally bring their family?
Ok, I should get off awards now, but I just want to explain to you that.. my daydreams (especially with things such as Awards shows!) because its something I think of as really concreting yourself in that industry I try to make it as REAL as possible in my head by trying to think of myself as physically there. Or what I did beforehand to get to the Awards. Late nights writing, and early morning sets, and editing, and cast parties, and locations, and scheduling, and meetings, and budgets, and actors, and auditioning and casting. I mean, when I daydream I think of the things that are everyday things. Things that are not so glamorous, but make what you do, real.
When I think of my future husband, wherever he is, I think of having conversations like, about laundry, or what were doing for the weekend, or things like that. You know?
I think about my kids. I wonder what theyll be like? What will they like? I hope their quirky. Like, they love learning about history or something. Or they want to learn like, how to decipher Hammurabi's Code in its original language. I cant wait to meet them.
I think about my career. I think about traveling. A conversation I often daydream about is telling people about Texas. I promise to write a blog on that one day. I was just browsing a really cute tumblr all about bein from Texas. BUT, I always daydream about telling people about my state. My Lone Star State. Bein an Aggie. (Well, not yet, but in my future I will have been.) Talkin about sweet tea. And Whataburger. And just how Texas is basically the best place in the world. Anyways. I always daydream about that.
I also daydream about God. When I meet him what will it be like? What will he look like? Who will I meet in Heaven? Ooh I cant wait to Meet David and Bathsheba, Jesus' siblings, John the Baptist, Tamar, Jacob, Judah, Joseph, the Three Kings, the Shepherds, oh I just cant wait! I daydream about that a lot too! And I promise to write a blog about that too!
I daydream about when my goals will be reached? When I will actually know the languages, or be fit *ahem and actually dance, and so on and so forth. I daydream about when I'll go back to Ukraine. I daydream about my childhood, and the Diablos. Ooh another blog topic!
I don't really think this blog has a point. I just, felt like sharing what a huge part of me goes to. Daydreaming. Hopefully one day I won't have to daydream anymore. And I know one day, when I meet Jesus I wont think about anything else, or even have to! Just him!
Daydreaming can be dangerous. But I remind myself that God does have a plan. And I dont have to just daydream. These things can happen! Isn't it great?
I Love the Future. Don't you? Time is kind of an incomprehensible subject. But the future? It's new, and mysterious, and bright and if I was to describe the future as a color, I would pick sky blue! It just makes you want to say "Ahh!" and take a deep breath and relax. The future is beautiful. So with that to think about. With something hopeful to think about. I'm going to continue daydreaming. Until I don't have to!
Love, your daydreamer!, Shelby
