Mostly, the best way to sum up what I think about most is the future. Whether that be soon or long-term. But, in short the future. That entails guys, my career, well... my.. life.
Whether I ever get to become one or not, I have a director's mind. I constantly am thinking of scenes in my head. Usually, of my own life. My future, what I imagine it will be. Things I want to say, what to be. It's like this never ending scroll of thoughts in my head.
And for a while I have been thinking about something that dawned on me a couple weeks ago.
I am used to being disappointed. A sad, but true statement. I don't accredit this truth to any one. It's just a truth that has come because of life and it's many downfalls.
But as I was thinking about the future, and thinking about past dreams that have been crushed, I realized that the future is different. It's the future, untouched, pure, unclaimed. It's what, I've been subconsciously clinging to. In the future, especially my nearest future that lies just around high school, doesn't have to be disappointing. I don't have to be disappointed. I am not naive, I know life has trials, nothing is free, and life is not easy, but why do we stay unhappy? I realized that I don't have to be unhappy. I don't have to be in a job I don't want to be. I don't have to be in an unhappy marriage. I can HAVE a love story out of a movie. I can fall in love and be young and happy. I can go after my dreams, I can be a director, I can be a doctor if I want.
I realized that my life doesn't have to be like any other people in my life. I don't have to be in debt. I don't have to have bad blood with my family. I don't have to be unhappy. When I have kids, I can raise them how I want to! I can make my life happy. I don't say that with hesitation.
I believe that God wants us to be happy. He knows these desires, my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, my vision. He knows all these scenes I think about for my future. I believe that God knows all my desires. So I don't say it lightly when I say that I know my life will be happy, because I have committed my heart to God.
Honestly though, I am giddy with excitement thinking about it. The metaphorical light bulb
popped up over my head when I realized this. That is why I love the future so much. It's beautifully pure, untouched. But it's not an empty road, it's filled with exciting things. Life, love, (hurts too, but those help us grow.) and experiences. I look at the people around me, and some are miserable where they are. Cynical, bitter and scowling they grumble about where they are. Some, can't control their situations. But others, all it takes is hard work. Work and you can get where you want. Like I said earlier, nothing is free, and it is true. Nothing is free, and the most successful of people will not tell you that they got where they are because of being lazy. They got where they are with God's grace and work. We were granted the God-given power to make decisions. It's just a matter of what decisions you make.
I am the person that when I watch Oscar speeches, I take seriously when they say to not give up and you can achieve your dreams. I'm inspired, and I believe dreams CAN be reached. Who's to tell me that I can't achieve them? Dreams, are a part of our future. They are ultimately a comfort, a hope. Dreams have many a time, my comfort and hope.
The only negative part to dreaming of the future is that you develop an incredible knack for impatience. But that is when I have learned to trust God, and in due time, it will happen. In the best timing.. His timing.
I can't wait for the future. I'm going to continue to be the visionary that I am. Daydream about my future, and eventually I will get to fall in love, be where I want to be, and have my dreams come true. I'm trusting God. That's all I can do. So, I thank Country Music, for bringing this revelation upon me. I'll forever be a faithful follower of your twangy melodies.
Love, your country music fan, Shelby.
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