There's something that is so consuming about our future. I have finally narrowed down why though. Our future is what shapes us. What we choose for a career, who we decide to marry, where we live, they're all huge parts of our lives that make us who we are. As humans, were all searching for a purpose. Who are we really? And what are we doing? The scary thing is, this all begins in...high school.
Ah High School. Since the 20th century, "High School" has been a monumental part of our lives. Thanks to pop-culture, it has been categorized as the time in one's life where they are sandwiched between childhood and adulthood, and are nothing but selfish hooligans. It's almost as if, because of this pop culture, kids have been forced to "carry on the legacy" of packing in 4 trivial years of just play. "High School", is a complex thing to say the least, perhaps its because this is, like I said, where the "soul searching" begins. Whether the kids know it or not.
In Today's high school world, kids are much different than what television and film have built it up to be. Of course, there are and always be cliques, labels, and everything in between.
It just seems like, kids care less though. Its almost as if they have accepted who is who, and then, they move on.
High School does have its high points though. I adore the solidity of tradition that goes along with high school. I love football games with friends, and piling in a friend's recycled car to go to Sonic late at night. I love seeing my best friends every day at school. I love being a part of a team, I love being in clubs, I love being a part of old traditions of high school, like homecoming and prom. I love things like seeing the cycle of seniors leave and the dreaded freshmen enter. Theres something so appealing, and comforting, about the whole "high school" scene. And I actually can't imagine not being a part of it.
High School though, is so much more than that. Its so much more than "fun". I sometimes feel so isolated. Could this be my Christian upbringing? As much as I do love those late nights with friends that I know one day I'll be nostalgic for, I often wonder, when does the frivolity end? Or even worse, do they realize that the whimsicality has to come to an end at some point?
I am enjoying my high school days. But, really, its just a minute chapter in our lives. For most, who we are in high-school, is not what we end up being later in life. And it worries me to think that none of my peers are event thinking that far ahead.
I often feel alone when I think like this. I'm considered the "prude" with a lot of my friends. But, honestly, the way I act has a lot of deeper meaning behind it than what they think of- that I simply "don't" want to do it.
For years, I have dreamed about my future. I have so many ideas, for what I want to do. However, I really just want one thing, and that is, To Change the World.
I realized this on my trip to the Philippines this summer. I was halfway across the world, and I would hear so many different problems going on in the world. And sometimes, I would see just part of the problems going on in the world. It overwhelmed me, more than I can explain.
The emotions were a tumultuous concoction of anger; that I lived in a country with such simple luxuries that most of the rest of the world lived without. I was confused as to why the rest of the world was riddled with so many problems. There were so many emotions, and thoughts swirling around in my head at once, I didn't even know where to begin.
Apple, had a campaign once they called, "Think Different." I fell in love with this. It made the emotions I had confirm inside my mind, because honestly, this is how I felt. I always felt different, and it made me worried that I felt like I was the only one who cared about more than what was going on "this weekend."
I hated to be morphed in peoples minds into the form of being a "selfish high schooler". I am different. I think part of that comes from me following the Bible and it saying that as Christians we should be set apart.
On a school trip once, a few of us were sitting at a Starbucks, when a very good friend of mine suddenly burst out, "Why cant we talk about something that matters?!" I almost reached across the table and kissed him, I was so happy he had said something. It made me think though, how many of us feel that way? I obviously am not the only one, but what is it that is holding us back from saying something?
If I was going to tell my peers anything as of now, it would be that high school ends. Fast.
Why is it that because people assume that because were teenagers, were allowed to be superficial and apathetic. Theres a whole huge world out there, and I honestly don't think that American teenagers today, really can make the cut to handle that cruel, vicious world successfully.
I want to establish that I do not want to be like that. I am not perfect, or righteous, but I am different. Sometimes more than I let on. What I want most is to make a difference. I don't want to lead a quiet life. I want to make a mark, not for my own glory, but so that I know that I didn't leave this world without blessing someone. This world, is so evil and ugly, ravaged by poverty, disease, crime and corruption. But how many of us...care?
High School is such a pivotal time in our lives. It is, like I said, where we begin to establish who we are. I have so much to say about this because, I am, in high school, and I see what goes on everyday in "high school."
My generation worries me. I don't believe that they see the big picture, and if they do think about what goes on after high school, all they are thinking about is them, and them only.
How much money they will make etc... But what we should be thinking about is what kind of person are we going to be?
Do we want to be the person that people, even strangers, will remember us for the little things we can bless them with? Or do we want to be the person, people will always remember for being such a schmuck, even if its something trivial.
A concept I have been pondering recently is when did we as a country become so closed off?
Where is the warmth? And...as corny as this sounds... where is the love? If everybody made a conscious effort to be kinder to people everyday, I promise it would stick with people and they would most likely be motivated to do the same thing.
I am in awe of the frivolity of most American's lives. Think about it, in the greater scheme of life, what is really going to matter? WE have to start caring about things that matter, things that will make a difference. I cannot stress enough how desperate I am to see this world be changed. I am so burdened, and it exasperates me just to think about trying to fix it alone. In whatever career path I choose, I know that I'll make a difference because I consider it my specific duty. I may be alone in my ideas, but one person can make the most difference.
I want to change the world, and whether I have to do it alone or not, I know somehow, I can try to help the endless network of problems going on in the world.
Love, your crazy one, Shelby.
